Snoring, the Bane of an Insomniac

I break most “sleep hygiene” rules. I’m sure most who have sleep issues have heard of ways to slowly ease your evening into a blissful night of sleep.

My latest form of entertainment, prior to the kick in of my sleeping pill is messing with my iPad. I peruse Pinterest, the weather forecast, my calendar, and I Google odd things that run through my head. I’m fully aware that this is a no-no, because the light is not conducive to slowing down serotonin. Some day I will buck up and discipline myself to do as I should. I imagine my husband regrets the choice of gifting me with an iPad.

Because I’m messing around way past bedtime, obviously, my husband drifts off to sleep. In fact, he falls asleep faster than anybody I know. He could have had a competition with my dad, and it would be a toss up as to who would win. It would probably be determined by milliseconds.

When I finally decide it’s time to relax enough for the benefits of the sleeping pill, the snore fest has begun.

My husband didn’t snore until years after we were married. He mastered snoring in Amsterdam. His job took him there for three weeks, and he had to share quarters with his boss. I blame the boss.

One thing I am fascinated by, are the different types of snoring there actually are. Mostly, it depends on degree of tiredness, or whether a whiskey or a wine was enjoyed after work. Honestly, a whiskey snore is different than a wine snore—seriously! Add tiredness, and those particular snores are amplified.

Snores consist of the major nasal-rumbling; inhale-loud poof exhale; rumbling nose inhale-loud poof exhale; quiet nose-rumbling; and semi-quiet rumble breathing through the mouth– while inhaling and exhaling. There are probably more, but these are the consistent sounds.

After listening to the noise coming from his side of the bed, with no luck of drifting off to sleep, I pretend like the noise is the sound of softly falling rain, the sound of crickets and frogs—anything to lull me into sleep.

Of course, this doesn’t work, so I have to result to other means to get him to stop long enough for me to fall asleep.

It doesn’t matter whether my husband is on his back or side. Snoring is part of his sleep routine. So—I have to resort to flopping around bed like a fish out of water, hoping the movement will make him switch positions. When he switches positions, there is a slight delay before the snoring commences.

When that doesn’t work, I try gently pushing him.

I try sighing loudly.

When all else fails, I result to getting up to pee. For some reason, every time I leave the bed, it wakes him up, so this action is usually a last resort. However, since he is awake, it gives me a chance to quickly slip off to sleep.

Now, he will argue that I snore, but I’ve never been awake trying to sleep through my various degrees of snoring.

It isn’t as much fun trying to fall asleep when he is out of town. It’s too quiet. 🙂



About April

I'll come back to this when I find out who I really am. I've been through some extremely rough patches but they have made me a better person. I blog if my brain is functioning first thing in the morning.
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16 Responses to Snoring, the Bane of an Insomniac

  1. My son snored so loud the whole house shook. It kept me awake and is probably one of the reasons my insomnia has been exacerbated. When his breathing stopped I would could my heartbeats before getting up to wake him – a very dangerous move, The relief when the noise started again was ridiculous. (he tended to get annoyed at being woken and anything in reach would be thrown at the door!) Life, isn;t it beautful 🙂
    Susan x

    • April says:

      Snoring can be a serious issue. I have tried to get my husband to go for a sleep study. I don’t believe he stops breathing during the night, but sometimes I wonder.

      • It is worrying. My dad was so bad we tried everything – well he did. He even wore a sleep mask for a time but he said it was so uncomfortable he couldn’t sleep!
        I’m not sure if my son takes after my father with his snoring but he’s fit and healthy so I doubt I’d get him near a sleep study. The idea of trying to wake him and tell him it’s time to leave because the study was finished – makes me shudder Ugh – not an easy task. :0

  2. bwcarey says:

    i sleep extremely well, i leave my fears, i say a prayer, do something to remind me of good, before i sleep, and the next day i do it again, get into the rhythm feeling, it might help, amen

  3. mewhoami says:

    This is so funny. My husband and I were just talking this the other day. When he’s not snoring and I have to get up, I gently as possible get out of bed and back into it. But when he’s snoring up a storm, I practically jump back in the bed upon my return. I will flip flop around like you do, hoping that he’ll change positions.

    Up until our talk the other day, I thought he slept through all of my jumping around and he moved thinking he did so on his own free will. When I mentioned to him my jumping around tactic he says, “Trust me I know! What are doing over there? Gymnastics?” I’m sure there’s more gymnastics to come. After all, a woman’s got to get her sleep.

    • April says:

      LOL! I’m pretty sure my husband sleeps through my flopping. He has told me to give him a kick or a shove. That just seems too mean to me.

  4. aviets says:

    I don’t think I ever noticed my husband not sleeping, but it turned out he had apnea just the same. His CPAP machine isn’t a perfect solution for my quality of sleep, but it really is better than the killer snoring. And he’s a new person since he started using it, in terms of alertness during the day. My daughter has nagged me enough about not using the iPad at night that I’ve actually stopped. And I do think it helped. I just have to be sure I have a book by the bed that I can read instead. -Amy

    • April says:

      I have to read before I can go to sleep too. I don’t know why I switched over to the iPad, but I suppose I need to return to the books.

  5. Grndma Chris says:

    Very good outlook. My bathroom plan used to work but then he mastered the art of beating me asleep and then the game was over. I ended up with 2 choices, never sleep again or break the taboo of having my own, quiet, retreat. He was ok with my decision for 2 because he says even he can’t sleep because of his snoring. It’s working out great for us, I can sleep, he gets to stay up as late as he wants and doesn’t gave to try and stop himself from rumbling the world. Good luck.

  6. Gallivanta says:

    Oh dear; it’s a familiar scenario. I have done my share of tossing, turning, kicking, shoving etc but, nowadays, I am so tired I can sleep through anything. Ear plugs, perhaps?

  7. “rumbling nose inhale-loud poof exhale” – That one is my favorite!

    My hubby snores sometimes, usually when he’s had a glass or two to drink. But then usually I’ve had a glass or two too, so it all works out.

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