I break most “sleep hygiene” rules. I’m sure most who have sleep issues have heard of ways to slowly ease your evening into a blissful night of sleep.
My latest form of entertainment, prior to the kick in of my sleeping pill is messing with my iPad. I peruse Pinterest, the weather forecast, my calendar, and I Google odd things that run through my head. I’m fully aware that this is a no-no, because the light is not conducive to slowing down serotonin. Some day I will buck up and discipline myself to do as I should. I imagine my husband regrets the choice of gifting me with an iPad.
Because I’m messing around way past bedtime, obviously, my husband drifts off to sleep. In fact, he falls asleep faster than anybody I know. He could have had a competition with my dad, and it would be a toss up as to who would win. It would probably be determined by milliseconds.
When I finally decide it’s time to relax enough for the benefits of the sleeping pill, the snore fest has begun.
My husband didn’t snore until years after we were married. He mastered snoring in Amsterdam. His job took him there for three weeks, and he had to share quarters with his boss. I blame the boss.
One thing I am fascinated by, are the different types of snoring there actually are. Mostly, it depends on degree of tiredness, or whether a whiskey or a wine was enjoyed after work. Honestly, a whiskey snore is different than a wine snore—seriously! Add tiredness, and those particular snores are amplified.
Snores consist of the major nasal-rumbling; inhale-loud poof exhale; rumbling nose inhale-loud poof exhale; quiet nose-rumbling; and semi-quiet rumble breathing through the mouth– while inhaling and exhaling. There are probably more, but these are the consistent sounds.
After listening to the noise coming from his side of the bed, with no luck of drifting off to sleep, I pretend like the noise is the sound of softly falling rain, the sound of crickets and frogs—anything to lull me into sleep.
Of course, this doesn’t work, so I have to result to other means to get him to stop long enough for me to fall asleep.
It doesn’t matter whether my husband is on his back or side. Snoring is part of his sleep routine. So—I have to resort to flopping around bed like a fish out of water, hoping the movement will make him switch positions. When he switches positions, there is a slight delay before the snoring commences.
When that doesn’t work, I try gently pushing him.
I try sighing loudly.
When all else fails, I result to getting up to pee. For some reason, every time I leave the bed, it wakes him up, so this action is usually a last resort. However, since he is awake, it gives me a chance to quickly slip off to sleep.
Now, he will argue that I snore, but I’ve never been awake trying to sleep through my various degrees of snoring.
It isn’t as much fun trying to fall asleep when he is out of town. It’s too quiet. 🙂