The Happiness Choice – Again

I truly believe that our lives are our responsibility, and we have the power to make it what we want it to be.

Except when depressed.

Yeah, we don’t have much control over our happiness. It is difficult to attain this on our own. Simply getting up each morning with a decision that this is going to be a great day, and we will be full of happiness, is not attainable while depressed.

Getting up each day isn’t possible for many.

Oh how hard that is to explain to family. I’m not talking about the person I spend all my time with. I have talked and talked about my brain processes until I’m bored with myself. I have learned a lot, but I’m bored. It’s part of my extended family that I have difficulty with, and I am not going to continue to educate them. Backing off and living to the best of my ability is enough for me.

I’m feeling better, and am really thankful for the process of depression and recovery. I have empathy for people suffering from depression, that a person who has never been depressed can have.

How insensitive it is to say that happiness is a choice. Choose to be happy, therefore, life will be all sunshine and flowers for you. ugh!

Now that I have reached a level where I have hope, I can see that my attitude does affect my experiences. Before—not so much.

My photo—quote by Alan Cohen.

May you find some beauty today.



About April

I'll come back to this when I find out who I really am. I've been through some extremely rough patches but they have made me a better person. I blog if my brain is functioning first thing in the morning.
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11 Responses to The Happiness Choice – Again

  1. Grndma Chris says:

    Very well said, depression is crippling some days. Thanks for reminding the world that it’s not all in out head

  2. aviets says:

    Thank you for making that distinction. I suppose the concept of choosing to be happy can work for people who don’t struggle with brain illnesses. But because it’s so impossible for so many people to just “choose” to be happy, I always cringe when I hear that advice. It comes off sounding simplistic and patronizing. -Amy

  3. mewhoami says:

    Only a person who has experienced something specifically, regardless of what it is, can honestly say that they understand. Even then, everyone is different and handles things differently. Your writing has taught me a great deal about depression and has given me more of an open mind to accept that it’s not ‘one size fits all’. Also, it’s definitely not something that I can assume that there’s an easy way out of. Depression is not easy, and you’ve shown me that. Thank you.

    • April says:

      There degrees within a specific diagnosis. I have no clue how many established diagnoses there are, and I know that many suffer co-morbid depression (several mental afflictions combined). It took me a while to distinguish the difference between grief and depression. Grief becomes manageable, when we recognize it is a natural part of life. Some will not let go of the loss, and therefore end up depressed. Anyway, depression is a sadness (along with a lot more stuff going on in the brain) that lasts for weeks, months, years, and for some–decades—or they take their lives. One thing that is constant, no matter what the diagnosis, we are trapped inside a mind which doesn’t work properly. Some may never understand depression, and I’m changing my thinking about that. Even though I think we need to have more services available, and more conversations to remove the stigma, I wouldn’t wish depression on anyone—for those are the people who are truly blessed. If they don’t understand, I’m beginning to believe that’s okay.

      • mewhoami says:

        Speaking of grief, I like how you said that once people recognize (every time I type that word, I think of you – ‘z’ ‘s’) that it’s a natural part of life it becomes manageable. I knew someone recently who was being told that they should see a professional because of their grieving. Death is hard. People grieve and and that’s natural. This person wasn’t doing so in a way that would warrant professional help. To make a long story even longer, they didn’t listen to their friend’s advice and eventually learned that the grieving was just a part of the natural process of things. Some things are natural and work themselves out over time. Depression is not always one of them. It’s important for people to know the difference between what requires the help of a professional and what does not.

        • April says:

          There are some who need help with their grieving processes. Like a mother who has lost a child. I’m not sure how I would get through that one. My mom–lost two children, her mom, and her husband. She avoided allowing herself to grieve. She needed help to let her talk and move through it. Sometimes the loss is so overwhelming, and while everybody is different and grieves differently, the ones who push it aside are asking for trouble. The ones who continually stick with the sadness, will end up in trouble too.

          • mewhoami says:

            True, some do and that’s a fact. I feel that it’s all a matter of knowing yourself enough to know when you can do it alone versus when you need help.

  4. suzjones says:

    It’s like the constant reminders about regular exercise being beneficial. I KNOW that – please don’t keep reminding me šŸ™‚

    • April says:

      Well, I don’t believe exercise is the cure all for everything, and I have yet to start any type of routine, but it can’t hurt. šŸ˜€

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