DIY Projects With Your Spouse – The Waiting Game

Here we are again…..waiting on another contractor to come and finish a job I started.

We wait, because that’s what happens every time we call in the professionals. All this time, I could be perfecting my attempts at shower pan installation. I already know I’m great at demolishing things if I screw up.

I have to say that my ego took a hit, and I’m still unsure of myself. I am in the process of building that confidence back up and I have a couple of ta-da posts to share soon.

The thing I don’t like about having a tile guy come in and make our shower pretty again is the fact that he said it would take a week to accomplish. I kind of knew that because there is wait time for things to set. However, having a stranger, or strangers, in my bedroom area for a week is a little unsettling to me.

I will be hovering over the guy because I’m going to learn to do this!

Not that we have heard from the guy, but now we are waiting on my schedule of visits with all my friends having the last part of their professional titles ending with ist. Sucks to have so many different types of doctors, but this week is full of appointments. ugh.

So, Miss-Impatience-Pants will continue to wait.

There is still a discussion hanging in the air about having the guy just to the shower pan and I will tile the thing.

As of today, the discussion is ongoing. Mostly, it’s me talking and my husband not exactly listening. (I think)

Posted in DIY Projects With Your Spouse | Tagged , , | 13 Comments

Sunday’s Smiles

Okay, I took the time out to express my fear, it’s time to take note of what makes life worth living. One thing is for sure, I have two knitting projects that will be completed and I could get close to organizing my stuff before I go to that appointment for the results. I have a lot of nervous energy to let go of.

The following made me smile this week:

  • total alone time—not that I don’t appreciate family but the little introvert in me is thriving

  • cat greetings

  • another piece of exposure therapy conquered

  • after some prompting, I remembered how to finger spell—I’m far from being fluent, but my nephew was able to understand what I was spelling and had a little fun with my goofs. I have some work to do in this area.

  • the squeal of a little girl, and the look on her grandfather’s face as they ran to greet each other at the airport

  • the 27 roses my husband sent to me for our 27th anniversary

  • watching a rather large raccoon squish its way into the knot hole in the tree behind our house….for a moment we thought it would get stuck.

  • a text my oldest sent me welcoming me back home

  • the lack of a response we are getting from our youngest when we text-nag him about renewing his car tags. mwahahaha–I’m an evil nag.

  • finally accepting that the circus of the people around me is not my circus. Their monkeys aren’t mine either.

Posted in Sunday's Smiles | 18 Comments

two and one-half weeks

Tis a cancer post I’ll be writing today in case you want to scroll on by

Two weeks until I have my bi-annual CT scan.

One week and one day until the fourth anniversary of the surgery to remove my cancer.

Three years of working with Dr. Chill to remove the fear I have with each scan. I almost had the majority of my anxiety controlled until suspicious lesions appeared on the three year post-op scan.

Just as I was ready for my party hat and noise maker, thinking I would now follow an annual scan schedule, I was smacked upside the head with a three month follow up scan of the little booger lesions.

I continue to have bi-annual scans.

I continue to obsess over my scans.

I fear that doughnut machine—especially when I receive the toxic dye.

I fear the face of my oncologist and her perky chit-chat before she announces the results.

I don’t mind being a statistic when it comes to the number of redheads worldwide, but I hate being a statistic regarding my longevity based upon my cancer status.

I enjoy the fact that I’m learning to live in the present moment, and it makes me mad when the invasive thoughts ruin that for me. My mouth dries, my stomach churns, my mind is distracted, my palms sweat, my heart races, my body thinks it doesn’t need much sleep. My interactions with others are marred by my irritability.

I know that at this particular moment, the information I have is that I’m healthy. I will remain this way until I’m told otherwise….

…..and two tears run from each eye.



pssst….I’m not feeling sorry for myself, just releasing some of the anxiety and hoping it helps.

Posted in That Thing Called Cancer | Tagged , , | 20 Comments

Thursday’s Thingies

I had trouble deciding what to choose for today’s nonsense. My mood is somewhere between poor taste and laughing out loud humor. I chose something in between.


This is a weird invention….they have an extra large size on Amazon, but I would probably have back problems if I were to carry our mastiff around my waist.

Why not use a leash? Wouldn’t the dog get bounced around a lot? Is this under the category of how to humiliate your dog?

Posted in Thursday's Thingies | Tagged | 19 Comments

if I had billions of dollars

Before my recent flight, I Googled ways to increase my chances of a free upgrade to first class.

Ha! There are way too many frequent business flyers that one has to pay for first class in order to obtain the empty seats. sigh There is no such thing as a freebie, especially when the airlines overbook flights.

Anyway, some of the sites I Googled led me to tips. One of them being taking candy to the staff at the gate, one suggested to dress for success. You know, wear all those binding clothes for a 5 hour plane flight. No, not for me.

As I sat at the gate people-watching, I took note of what others were wearing. The variety of styles were many, and it got me to thinking……

If I had billions of dollars, would I fly first class? Would I continue to wear a t-shirt, jeans, and Birkenstocks? Probably, because 5 hours is a long ass flight to be smooshed in among a bunch of sweating people.

Would I have my own personal jet? Probably not. Although the lure of not having to stand in the invasive touchy-feely lines, I would continue with my life pretty much as I live now.

There are a couple of things I would add to my life, and philanthropy would be at the top. I’m sure billions of dollars would most likely disappear rather quickly, but I would have fun spending it. I would hire a cook to go to the grocery store and to make sure we are eating healthy foods. I would also hire a personal trainer-nazi to get my body whipped into shape.

However, my closet would be filled with mostly Seattle Seahawks themed t-shirts and a couple of my favorite brand of jeans to wear everywhere. I would continue to wear my house clothes, which I’m sure my husband is tired of seeing. I may have to curb my fetish for designer handbags and shoes because, well—I would have billions of dollars.

But, I have just enough.

I have enough because I have what money can’t buy. Actually, money does buy my therapy sessions and my medications, but other than that, I think I would stick to just enough–and that is an abundance of love.

What would you do with billions of dollars?

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Sunday’s Smiles

This past week, the following made me thankful to be alive by making me smile:

  • seeing my sister and her family — her grandkids were a huge bonus

  • Mother’s Day celebration with my mom, daughter, aunt, uncle, cousins and their spouses

  • learning all about whales from my 7-year-old loaner grandkid—he’s one smart cookie

  • playing with the youngest loaner grandkid whose exuberance almost wore me out as much as the grand puppy does

  • finding mini, or fun size bars of my favorite candy. Now I can eat a small one and hope I hide the rest well enough to avoid eating them all at once

  • looking through old photos

  • seeing my dad’s handwriting

  • holding a chicken for the first time

  • petting the nose of a horse named Henry

  • being reminded that the dwellings of my people need to be heated, even in the middle of May

  • after a week of feeling a little off and crappy, I discovered I was drinking decaffeinated coffee. psst….it helps to read labels, especially early in the morning

  • the pitiful sound of young roosters

  • finding that my brother-in-law has the same mission as I do at the grocery store. Have a list—get in—get out. He stayed at the end of the aisles as I rushed to get what we needed.

  • visiting with my adult nieces and nephew. Oh how fast they grow.

Posted in Sunday's Smiles | Tagged | 19 Comments

Sunday’s Smiles

The following made me smile last week:

  • seeing my daughter perform her version of a traditional ‘mom I’m right in front of you’ dance

  • sitting next to a Delta Airline pilot who told me I did fine on my first unmedicated, solo flight—even if I did fidget the whole way. Apparently, it isn’t easy for one of their pilots to get upgraded to first class either.

  • squishy bear hug from my mom

  • the way my mom’s huge rat (dog) begs for human food

  • finding pennies just when I need one—you know, the ones from heaven

  • a childhood memory

  • a sunny day in Seattle—there isn’t a place more beautiful…in my opinion

  • bringing sunscreen to Seattle and actually having to use it—but I didn’t because, well–it was cold and I really didn’t sit in the sun.

  • being in the land of my people

  • and the laugh out loud moment…..the Little Missy asking how we found local businesses before Google. My response was the yellow pages and a map. Her response—eew.

Posted in Grattitude | Tagged | 11 Comments

Blogging Depression

No, I don’t believe there is such a thing as blogging depression, is there? Whatever it is I feel—or I should say, don’t feel is commenting.

It’s much the same as real life for me. I can be in a group of people and just listen. There have been moments in my life that listening was all I could do because I was too depressed to comment—or suffering too severely from social anxiety.

I’m not depressed, in fact I’m feeling better than I have in many years. I am a bit overwhelmed while I strive to catch up on my reading. Sporadic internet service keeps me a bit lagging.

I will soon be back to my regular routine and maybe I won’t be so silent in the WordPress world. Maybe I will continue to listen for a while so that I hear the beauty of your words.

Routines are good for my mind, and I certainly could use one about now. Spontaneity isn’t one of my strong traits, but I’m going with things. It’s almost kind of fun to push beyond my comfort zone and just be.

Posted in Blogging | Tagged , , | 18 Comments

DIY Projects With Your Spouse – Various Tips and Tricks

When attempting a home improvement project with your spouse, acknowledging the strengths and weaknesses of your partner is a must.

Give your partner a wide berth.

Avoid talking to each other, but make eye contact and smile once in a while.

Praise them on the job they do—what a wonderful feeling to know that someone appreciates the hard work. I hope I am as thoughtful to my husband as he is to me. When I’m working on something, I’m extremely narrow minded and hyper focused on the task at hand.

Before any work begins, determine who will perform specific tasks and keep your nose out of what they are doing.

Communication is important, but get it over with quickly. (See above…the part about not talking to each other)

When you think a job is almost done but you find there is more to do than you thought, put on some uplifting music and push through.

When pushing through creates sloppy work—stop working.

Breaks, food, and water are a necessity. Stop to replenish your energy. Make sure your spouse stops too. It is okay to talk during these moments.

Don’t wash walls you intend to paint with a terrycloth towel.

Never, ever use wallpaper…be kind to the stranger who will move in after you and has a strong desire to remove it.

Humbly recognize when to call in a professional.

Update on our shower remodel.


After damaging the ceiling of the room below the shower, I was strongly convinced a third try would not be the charm.

I chipped out all of my second attempt with a chisel and a maul, and my husband hauled it off.

He is now interviewing professionals—dammit. How am I supposed to learn?

Posted in DIY Projects With Your Spouse | Tagged , | 13 Comments

oh you stinkin’ anxiety

I have a lot of anxiety

in me

it’s making me sick to my stomach

you see.

knitting isn’t helping

you see

for I have a ball of anxiety

in me.

breathe in

breathe out

wipe tears of defeat.

I can conquer this

yes I can


you see….

I also have a warrior

in me

Posted in Anxeity and Depression | Tagged | 21 Comments