oh you stinkin’ anxiety

I have a lot of anxiety

in me

it’s making me sick to my stomach

you see.

knitting isn’t helping

you see

for I have a ball of anxiety

in me.

breathe in

breathe out

wipe tears of defeat.

I can conquer this

yes I can


you see….

I also have a warrior

in me

Posted in Anxeity and Depression | Tagged | 10 Comments

Sunday’s Smiles

The following made me smile:

  • when I told Ms. Nurse No-Sense-Of-Humor that my occupation was retired stay at home mom, she started saying “retired…..” while writing. I was joking, she was serious—unless she has a great poker face. Either way, it made me smile.

  • bluest blue skies

  • while performing the dreadful chore of grocery shopping, I pushed my cart to the end of an aisle, carefully watching for others around the corner. A man appeared with the biggest smile on his face.

  • my big floofy cat hopping on the couch next to me and letting out a crackly meow while staring at me

  • contradictory people

  • fear that the pharmacist is judging me because I’m such a frequent flyer—then letting it go because it doesn’t matter what she thinks.

  • many blogs on WordPress

  • new pulmonologist passed the interrogation. I can breathe again!

  • a beautiful weekend of perfect weather

Posted in Grattitude, Sunday's Smiles | Tagged | 12 Comments

Farmland – It’s a Little Foreign

I have been learning a few things about cows. One broke free of its boundary fence and grazed in our yard, leaving evidence behind. I’ll bet it was cow, Right 44 Left 13130–the cow giving me the stink eye as I was trying to photograph it.


I took some more photos over the rainbow in rural Missouri—one of which was of my barn again. The owner has cleaned up around the thing and it doesn’t appear it will be torn down. The cows use it for shelter.


Did you know that a herd of cows will lie down at the same time according to the barometric pressure? I learned this lesson from my husband because I guess deer do the same thing.

Apparently, I have not spent much time in the country where animal farms are intertwined with the wheat. I have lived among the crops, not the animals. If I had, I would have known this. It was such an anomaly to look at a field of cows, all of them lying down.

The local newspaper is much like a blog. It’s the same as in the old days when it was written about so-and-so visiting someone in town. On the second page of the weekly newspaper was a story about cows and turkeys.


Cows stand as a group, and gawk at people/animals. They spook easily and will scamper off. According to the article in the paper, there were a couple of turkeys beginning to fight and it scared the cows off. They returned to stand as spectators of the turkey fight. I would imagine it was a funny sight.

This one was hiding.6K2A9442

That is the extent of my knowlege of cows. :D

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Z is for Zestful

Okay, how many people actually use words which begin with the letter Z? Maybe I have a limited vocabulary, but I don’t use them much.

Back to my airport stories, the Kansas City Airport is well—zen-ish compared to the craziness of the Atlanta airport.

I was so happy to have landed that I could relax and have a little fun.

I took this photo for you, Amy.



Also, I noticed when looking through the window, the lights of the terminal reflected off the glass making them look like UFOs.


I forwarded this photo to Sensible Girlfriend (our youngest’s girlfriend) with the following text conversation.

IMG_0111aaMy husband and I were snorting with zestful laughter.

I apologize for making that text photo so large, it couldn’t be read the other way. By the way….there was quite the pause after telling her to turn on CNN.

Even though I cheated with RSTU, I did okay blogging everyday….a type of challenge I can no longer do….especially if the topic is forced. I may be able to blog every day, but it has to have the chance to flow. :D


Posted in 2015 A-Z Blog Challenge | Tagged , , , | 13 Comments

Thursday’s Thingy’s

Today is our youngest son’s 21st birthday. That’s quite a wow for me. Looking at his 6′ 4″ face, I still see the 4′ 6″ face. Actually, I also see that 9 lb. 11 oz. face. One who couldn’t wait to arrive in the world and came 2 1/2 weeks early. I can only imagine what he would have weighed if he was full-term.

In honor of what boys find fascinating, I’m sharing something that would gross out the average person. Coffee mugs in the shape of a human mouth.


I’m not certain, but I think they can be purchased on Etsy?

The a. cup would be quite a shocker to have your morning cup of coffee.

Eew. Eew. And Eew.

Posted in Thursday's Thingies | Tagged | 11 Comments

Y is for Y’all and All Forms Of

Dialects are fun to listen to. Each of us have one according to the part of the States we hail from, or duh–the country. We may not believe it, but it’s true. There are also unique phrases particular to regions—as in y’all.

In the West, when we are addressing a person we use their name, or would use you when appropriate. While speaking to more than one person, we say you guys. I’m sure there are other forms of this in other areas across the country. I like y’all because it rolls off the tongue so easy. You guys isn’t as versatile as y’all.

Below are my observations of the use of the southern version of you guys.

Y’all – you, as in a singular person.

Y’all – Plural, more than one person.

Y’aller – you all are…as in y’aller too loud.

All Y’alls – all of you

Y’alls – your, or all of yours…as in, this is y’alls mess (remember, singular or plural)


And some of you probably thought I would blog about yarn. :D

Posted in 2015 A-Z Blog Challenge | Tagged , , , | 22 Comments

X is for Xanax

Xanax has gotten me through many tough times. I’m not on a mega dosage, and I don’t feel as if I have to increase the dosage to obtain the same feeling as the smaller dosage is making me feel.

Xanax helped me tame and manage stress through some large triggers happening simultaneously. My mind couldn’t process fast enough, and my emotional well being took a hit.

I don’t feel the need to take the medication anymore. Along with other medications, it helped my mind move to a place where it needed to be—to begin healing itself, to manage my illness.

To you anxiety sufferers—don’t give up! It is possible to work through anxiety with the proper help and tools. The treatment is specific to your individual situation, and I’m not saying I’m cured, but I can manage my anxiety much better—so can you!

Posted in 2015 A-Z Blog Challenge | Tagged , , , , | 12 Comments

W is for Whew!

A twofer today because I missed Friday’s blog challenge for the letter V.

The thought of flying causes me great anxiety. Actually, it is more of a phobia which creates horrible bodily reactions. Being in huge crowds is also an anxiety trigger.

The Atlanta Hartsfield-Jackson airport is the busiest airport in the United States, and it is c r a z y. In fact, I have to concentrate so hard on holding myself together that most times I walk through the airport I’m in a zombie like state (best way to describe it for me), I don’t remember much.

Anyway, the TSA has a newish program called TSA pre-check. It means one can go through the security lines without having to place the 3 ounce liquids contained in a quart sized plastic bag on the conveyor, laptops don’t have to be pulled out, shoes can be left on, as well as coats. Both my husband and I pulled the jackpot and got the special pre-check nod.

Well…I was holding my sweater and the TSA agent told me I had to put the sweater on before being blasted with some more radiation, or place it on the conveyor for x-ray screening. Not wanting to hold up the line, I threw it on the conveyor.

…..and we were almost to the train/tram that would take us to our gate when I realized I had forgotten my sweater. I had to go back—-a very long hike of escalators and elevators back to the entry of the security line. I slogged through security again and retrieved my sweater.

I returned to where my husband was waiting and we made it to our gate huffing and puffing just as they were making a last call.

We sat in our seats and very, very shortly after, the plane started taxiing to the runway.

I didn’t have time to think about anxiety, and I can’t believe I thought my old sweater was worth almost missing our flight.

I have to thank my new pulmonologist–he gave me a prescription for a new medication and I can actually breathe better. Good thing, because wearing Birkenstocks also made running through the airport around a mass of people going every which way quite difficult.

Posted in Uncategorized | 13 Comments

V is for Vacuous Parents

There are times when it’s hard to determine whether to intervene in the lack of parenting of others. When a child is in harm’s way, it’s even tougher to hold our tongues.

While waiting for our bags at the Kansas City airport, a man with two little—really little–kids were also waiting for their bags. He was traveling alone. No other adult to parent him.

The toddlers were sticking their fingers on the baggage carousel while it was in motion. One kid even sat on the edge with his backpack hanging on the moving carousel, just ripe for getting caught up and carried to certain harm.

The dad? He was…..


OMG! What a freakin’ idiot! I stood there in the midst of a dilemma. Do I do something? Do I say something? I tried to capture the toddler’s attentions, but you know, I was a stranger and sticking fingers in the carousel is much less scary than speaking to a stranger.

Thankfully, they were not harmed, but the father could use some lessons. Just as texting is not a good idea while driving, it also applies to parenting.

Posted in 2015 A-Z Blog Challenge | Tagged , , , , | 11 Comments

Sunday’s Smiles

The following made me smile:

  • blackberry cobbler and ice cream

  •  wallpaper removed from an entire room–the wallpaper that covered the entire room

  • my husband helping by removing wallpaper and washing the ceiling

  • lost keys to the rental car found in the refrigerator—I’ll just let you guess who dropped them in there by accident

  • a cotton blanket

  • the fact that I sleep like a baby while staying in the middle of nowhere

  • a mama robin teaching her baby to fly. Unfortunately, it hit the window but the little thing was okay. Just as our kids, some have to learn the hard way.

  • my husband calling me to ‘come look’ at something. Getting all excited thinking it was a baby bunny or some such thing, I happily complied—it was a snake. ugh. His thoughtfulness made me smile though.

  •  I actually went shopping–which is a feat in and of itself–I wore sweatpants, and a 30-year-old flannel shirt that used to be designated for camping only. I wore no make up and hadn’t had a shower. I didn’t care. I didn’t care!! Big accomplishment for me.

  • not too sure I trust the local dentist in Nowhere, Missouri. There are too many one-tooth-wonders. Either there isn’t a town dentist, or the locals simply don’t go.

  • I can now do the squats without causing any major injuries

  • my cats are happy to have me home—I am happy that they are happy

  • a duh moment. I have successfully endured two round trip flights without the aid of Xanax. This time? I knitted. One thing Dr. Chill has been prodding me to do, is to replace a negative with a positive. You know—like eating all afternoon when not hungry–instead, do something I enjoy. I know that knitting calms me and it worked!


Posted in Sunday's Smiles | Tagged | 14 Comments